Grandmother gives birth to daughter's triplets

Story Highlights
  • Jaci Dalenberg, 56, offered herself as a surrogate as her daughter waited to adopt
  • Dalenberg said she wasn't frightened to be pregnant at her age
  • The triplets were born Oct. 11 -- more than two months premature
I understand a mother's love runs deep, but this is strange. Surrogacy and IVF kind of bother me in general though.


RGW said...

WTF is right......who allowed her to be a surrogate at that age?? Surely complications outweigh the benefits here.......and what exactly is so wrong with adoption you feel the need to become a surrogate at 56???

salsita said...

mmm hmmm, I agree completely. Another interesting aspect to this that has been coming up in my "course of study" is the financial aspect of such procedures and if, perhaps, money could be put towards other costs in our little health system...

BookyG said...

Soooo, for a disenting opinion. My best friend in Bishop is about to give birth, from IVF. Her husband has CF, though he is a "miracle" who gives encouraging speaches to CF kids at conferences. He can't fertalize her eggs through old fashion sex (talk about convenient birth control), but they were able to stick a needle in his balls to pull out some active sperm. They went for IVF because ADOPTION COST TOO MUCH. (usually over $30K - according to friend)

True you can foster with a goal to adopt, but then the parents have a year to claim their kids back (and the courts usually side with the parents). That is quite a bit of heart break to submit yourself to. Also, foster babies are rare, most foster kids are older. I'm not saying those kids don't deserve a chance, but it is a much more difficult task. And frankly some of the families that volunteer aren't really up for the task (I used to work in social services).

As for her age and health concerns, I thought that multiples (twins, triplets) usually came early. So I'm not sure you can tie the premature births to her age. And she is at least partially absolved of guilt in that she is not bearing children at this late age to raise herself, but for her daughter to raise. So she won't be the primary parent, and thus the kiddo's won't be orphaned if she dies young.

Oh, did I mention that I have a 54 year old friend who's wife is pregnant with their first (and probably only) child. He is super healthy, but he might die when the kid is young. The wife is in her late 30s. He's concerned about his age, so people know it is an issue, but no one faults him for fertalizing his wife's egg.

As far as money goes, it would be upsetting if the state PAID for someone's IVF. But most likely this was paid for out of pocket - most insurance won't cover it.

And finally for my libertarian streak: Sure we might disagree, but fortunately no one segment of the population has complete control on how other segements can live their life. Think of Prop 8, think of all the people trying to control the lives of those they have objection to. THANK GOD there is some semblance of freedom that allows people to live their lives as they see fit.

PleaseRecycle said...

Oooh, a controversy! (picture this being said with a British accent)

Seriously, when I read this story, I was thinking, "There is no way in the world Matt and I would ever go for something like that."

But about assisted fertility in general, I haven't been there. So, I have no idea how desperate it feels and what I would be willing to go through to have a child of my own. That being said, I still think I would be more inclined to adopt.

I certainly don't propose limiting a couples' right to use assisted reproduction. But I wish it would be used more judiciously/catiously.

RGW said...

I have no objections to IVF, I think it's a wonderful feat of science (admittedly it's now working so well you would hope they would stop implanting so many eggs at once!), and from the news story it doesn't seem like $$ was an issue. I think my issue with this is both the age (the risks to both the kids AND the 56 year old are so high, and not just from premature birth) and the fact it's her mother doing it, I just couldn't imagine the family turmoil that could potentially cause. I totally agree with surrogacy, but with a family member could cause all kinds of issues - having grandparents is great, but could you imagine if your grandparent was your birthparent? Not to mention liberties that grandparent might take over the children SHE birthed? It would have to be a really 'special' relationship for that kind of thing to work, just too many potential psychological problems it's amazing any doctor would do that.......

nea said...

since i was able to conceive, i can't know what is involved in wanting IVF and can't be against it, but this is weird.